It has been awhile

We have been BUSY!

Let's start where I left off ....
I put an offer in on a house in T-Town, it was accepted and there I was... thinking.. I am going to be a home owner. How AWESOME is that. I have come so far in the past 5 years and I couldn't be in a happier place. I waited and waited finally right after a very nice Thanksgiving and black Friday I received word of my closing date!

I closed on my house on Dec. 6, 2010 but the owners let me move in the weekend of Dec. 4. Ian and I packed up the old townhome and moved our stuff in. Very exciting! We now had a home that our children to call home and have a childhood home to grow up in. The neighborhood and location is to die for! Ian and I both have the life we have wanted. We have so much fun together and this house is nothing short of a blessing to a good relationship. We laughed and agreed on the house and where things would go. Hunter loves his new home and is looking forward to being able to ride bikes with the neighborhood kids! YAY!
Shortly after moving in, I ended up getting sick and then Hunter, all the while, I was asked to go to Boston (Plymouth) MA for work. It was an awesome opportunity but it was hard leaving Hunter when he was sick. The upside.. Ian stepped in and was a single parent for a little while. He did a wonderful job of taking care of Hunter, the house and school for Hunter and him taking classes full time at the local community college. It was a nice trip but it was sure nice to get "home"! That is right.... I walked into our new home (which by the way, I will live in for a VERY long time, moving stinks) and was so happy to know this is a true home and Ian had it very clean! AMAZING.

Christmas was an awesome time. Santa spoiled all of us and it was nice to decorate even though it wasnt decorated to the fullest since we just moved, but none the less, AWESOME. Right before Christmas we welcomed a new nephew to the family. He is adorable! YAY for John and Aimee. Ian boys stayed with us longer than planned and I loved it. Family is what Christmas is about and we definitely had a nice time together.

We had the boys (me plus 6 boys!) (Ian has 4 boys and I have one!) on New Year's Eve and had an impromptu party for New Year's! There were lots of other kids here and hopefully next year I can plan better for a party like this! I definitely wasn't prepared this year! But thank you everyone that attended.

My birthday came and went... I seriously lost track of how old I was. Funny how times have changed, I worry about when others birthdays are and not mine. Forgetting how old you are is one thing but just realizing that I am getting further and further away from 21 really made me feel old. Although, I think I can keep up pretty well with all of the boys and Ian never makes me feel a day over 30. Which is nice.

We celebrated Trae's birthday during the month of January as well. He came up with Chase and they spent the weekend playing computer games with their dad. Ian loves his time with his boys and only wishes he could have more time with them. I am happy that Hunter has seen a man come into our lives and openly accept him as his own. Hunter and all of the boys get to see us laugh, hug and share a life together. Yes, kinda seems like the honeymoon phase is still in affect. We will shall see how long it lasts. We will be coming up on a year of us dating soon! Wow, what a great 2010 and I am looking forward to just as wonderful or better 2011. January brought on LOTS of snow and for those of you that know me, that is what I miss the most about Colorado. I love snow. I love to snow ski/board and I love how pretty it is. A snowy canvas is such an amazing sight. Thank you Mother nature for a beautiful winter.

February brought us some sickness but we got over it... and furniture! We have our house furnished completely now and it is a wonderful feelings.

Ian and I are now preparing things for our garden, spring cleaning, and summer with the boys!!
Hunter is doing so WELL in school! He is growing very fast and getting more and more energy every day... where does he get it? He tells me he doesn't like his Michael Haggerty lesson (which is his phonics lessons) because it is boring but he LOVES recess and P.E. Hunter loves having "kinda brothers" and enjoys his weekends with them but sometimes he struggles which hopefully I can get some constructive critism in another blog about this. Of course I am always putting him, Ian's boys and Ian before me but I am going to start back jogging/running next week so that I can start to feel better about myself. I feel all 6 of them deserve that much from me. I always feel so much better after running and I have more energy!

So much to look forward too, I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year and winter. Enjoy 2011 because we have so many blessings in our lives... look for them.. they are there. Even the smallest of things is a blessing... so count them! I am in a millionaire because of all of my blessings in my life.

Lemonade Stand but NO Lemonade

Hunter cracks me up. He loves to color and do crafts which I LOVE LOVE LOVE this about him. Once he finishes coloring a sheet or gluing pieces to a sheet or cutting it, he has to fold it up into a small square so that it will fit in his pocket. I have always enjoyed this about him. Today, as we were talking about all of the pictures he colored yesterday he asked me if he could sell his pictures. He asked if he could have a lemonade stand but instead of lemonade he sell his colored pictures! LOVE LOVE this idea!!

No kisses.

Hunter doesnt like kisses from me any more...
Very sad day for me.
He wipes them away.
He tells me I can only hug him and not kiss him.

Every morning, I bring him to school, unlock the doors in my car, open his door for him, he unbuckles, picks up his bookbag and half hugs me, and I try to kiss him but in the midst of doing so, he says.. NO KISSES. I still sneak one in.. just in case he might forget to wipe it off!

He loves to read. We read books ALL.THE.TIME.
He loves the Junie B. Jones books and if anyone knows me... I'm not a fan of these books considering the grammar in them are TERRIBLE and I am trying to teach him the correct way to speak. BUT I kinda modify what the sentences so they are correct. AND Im not a fan of the name calling and such but he loves them. I will take other suggestions on books though! Preferably cheap books.. I do not have a library card... Effingham's library is VERY lacking and the price of an out of district library card just isnt feasible for the services/books offered. I am going to Hunter's school for their Book Fair but it isnt until November.

He loves for me to spell words for him. He asks me, Mom, how do you spell Tree. I spell the word and slowly sound out the word and spell it again. Then he repeats me. I was SO SO VERY PROUD when he said Mom, How do I draw a S.T.A.R.. S- T- A- R?.... (S.T.A.R = him sounding it out and S-T-A-R is him spelling it!). I then happily tell him he spelled it correctly and then show him how to draw a star... Although Jaden was much smarter than me when it came to making a star... He should Hunter an easier way! Way to go Jaden. We were doing activity books the other day and he was connecting the d.o.t.s, making a moon. He sounded out the word and spelled M-O-N. I said SO CLOSE but there are too O's. But now he knows!! His vacabulary is SO SO amazing. I just cant say enough about my growing little man.

I had parent/teacher conferences the other day. Wow, she had good things to say and I can only hope he will continue to do well. She did say he wears his heart on his sleeve which I am totally aware of but how do you correct that? And is it something that needs to be corrected? She also said he definitely likes the social aspect of school... HA AHAHA he is his mothers son! His teacher also stated that he does very well academically but he doesnt really like the phonics lessons.. and she thinks that is because it is right before they have rest time. And he is the first one OUT and the LAST one up! Which I can understand that, I mean I have to keep him busy busy in the evenings otherwise he SLEEPS SLEEPS SLEEPS and then when I finally have to wake him he won't go to bed on time. I am assuming this is because of his age which that is fine.. the kid can be tired.. He has had a full day of filling his head with LOTS of new info!

There goes my life

I have lost my patience, I have lost my mind, and I have officially lost my baby. Not sure if anyone can truly understand that once your child enters kindergarten... they.are.in.school.until.they.are.an.adult... how freaking crazy is that? I always wanted Hunter to be older, not because I dont love him or that I want to wish away his childhood but maybe just, maybe to get past the downs. I mean who wouldnt trade in the losing of patience for a hug or just one more snuggle. How about the arguing that could literally make you rethink your whole mind set. I mean Hunter has tried me to the point of no return. I have had to put myself in time out. I have had to close my door off from him so that I didnt lose it. I am not the best mom by any means but dropping him off the other day at kindergarten sure felt like I was leaving my heart with total strangers. I mean, what really makes this any different than me having to leave him at daycare with strangers when he was only 5 months old. I know lots of parents have to do it and I know I could never be a stay at home mom, ( I really think the world of parents that can stay home ) not because I dont want too, because I know my shortcomings and limitations. I like being a working mom plus I want to be a good influence on Hunter. He shouldnt think it is acceptable what others have done in his life, yes I am referring to the entering and exiting of one person when it is good for him. Hunter needs stability. He needs to know I am going to be here no matter what happens. Although, he asks me all the time what would happen to him if I die. And he asks me if I am going to die. All of these questions tug at my heart because I cant give him definitive answers. Although scary that he asks such questions, I have heard it is normal. I just offer hugs and love to him to carry him through and that is just what I will have to do going through him crying everyday when I drop him off at kindergarten until the day he graduates high school. This whole story, paragraph, what have you is all from realizing, Hunter is my one and only child. I was very blessed a little over 5 years ago when I was fortunate enough to have a Dr in Champaign to save my life. Not only did Hunter survive a head on collison in my belly but we also, together, survived his birth. I did miss all of his "beginning" firsts, like his belly button (which I will never know what his belly button looked like when it still had the cord attached) before it fell off, his first bath, his first poop, etc.. I missed it but I dont have to miss anything more, God willing. I would like to offer a prayer:
Father in Heaven,
You made me your child
and called me to walk in the Light of Christ.
Free me from darkness
and keep me in the Light of your Truth.
The Light of Jesus has scattered the darkness of hatred and sin.
Called to that Light,
I ask for your guidance.
Form my life in Your Truth,
my heart in Your Love.
Through the Holy Eucharist,
give me the power of your Grace
that I may walk in the Light of Jesus
and serve Him faithfully.

We are looking for fulfilled school days ahead of us which will include homework, heartaches, practices, and trying moments.

Hunter one day I can only hope you will have the opportunity to read through this blog as I try to capture the moments I feel you would want to know and capture the moments I need to just write. You have been the light of my life since I found out I was pregnant. I can only hope you will see how much I love having you in my life and I pray you will make good choices in life even if life doesnt hand you the best cards. Remember to love and laugh. Remember to keep a friend, you have to be a friend. Remember to be nice to people even if they havent been the nicest to you. Remember that you can ALWAYS learn and with that in mind you will never fail. I am looking forward to growing with you! I love you! Have a great time in school and I will await the day to see you grown up at graduation. (P. S. Dont grow up too fast but please stop with the arguing and back talk.. !!)

Kindergarten

August 17 - 1st half day of Kindergarten - He walked in with a smile. I was smiling.
August 18 - 2nd half day of Kindergarten - He cried. I cried. It was a rough time for both of us.
August 19 - 1st full day of Kindergarten - He cried before leaving the house. He was upset because he was told he couldn't have his DS with him at school nor on the bus. I have to admit, I am the one who put the DS in his bag. Opps... I had no idea they weren't allowed on the bus, because I did explain he couldn't have his DS at school but could use it once he got to his daycare. Totally my fault here. I took some time to explain to him that no child will have their DS so he won't be left out. He felt a little better and only had tears when I dropped him off.
August 20 - 2nd full day of Kindergarten - only teary eyes today.
August 23 - 3rd full day of Kindergarten - Crying before leaving. He doesn't like it because it is boring. He just wants to learn nothing and know everything so that he doesn't have to go to school. (These were his words exactly). It is so boring, all I do is go to recess, eat lunch and take a nap. I tried explaining that he can know so much by going to school and if he goes to 1st grade next year he doesn't have a rest time. He wasn't listening. He wanted me to walk him in today, I really was trying to avoid this so that he can start to be more independant but I think I will have to give him more time. I walked him in and he started crying before even getting inside the doors. His teacher had to lead him into the classroom crying. I walked back to the car teary eyed. This might be one of the hardest times I have dealt with yet. ... We can get into that talk sometime later.

Chicken Fried

My son the other day singing to whomever would listen...

Little bit of chicken fried
Cold beer on a friday night
Pair of jeans that fit right....

Yeah, I agree Hunter!

I am me

I cant change me.. well I could but I dont really feel the need. I may improve on aspects of my life but I wont ever truly change who I am because it is not my personality.
I will always weigh more.. I dont understand it. Dr's talk about BMI. I dont get it. I work out. I walk. I run. I am active constantly. I worry. I stress about nearly everything. I eat. I love food. I dont tend to overeat. But I am a stress eater. When I was younger and smaller, I was about a size 4 and still the Drs said I was on the scale of being overweight because I weighed LOTs. I dont feel the need to be that size again. I am a mother. I am over 30. I attend weight watchers. They talk about BMI, my Dr talks about BMI. Do you think anyone ever takes into account that my legs are massive? That I can do more sit ups and push ups than most people I work with? Does anyone ever take anything like that into consideration? I am STILL considered Obese. Seriously? I am pretty happy I lost 23 pounds. Yes I know I still have more to lose but when will I be considered acceptable to society, Drs and Weight Watchers? I have lost 2 dress sizes. I am an average woman. I have a belly. I have scars. I have emotions. I still have my period which can cause mood swings but I still have mood swings anyway. Maybe none of this makes sense but these are the things that go through my mind on a weekly if not daily basis. I dont get it. I see so many women out there that are skinny, beautiful and wonder if they ever have the same feelings? I mean, I know of a situation where a woman weighs less than me but she wears three sizes more than me? How can this be? I dont even know. Do you think God intended for us to be this different and have all of these emotions? Do you think God intended for Drs to tell me that my BMI still says I am obsese? Does any of this make any sense? I seriously dont understand. My friend Rachel looks so awesome. We have been doing weight watchers together. She follows strictly the eating habits of Weight Watchers and has lost over 40 pounds. I have followed the eating stuff plus the activity and I have only lost 23. I dont understand it. Yes she is on her feet all day where I sit at a desk but I run! I run long distances. I do sit ups and push ups. I dont sit on my couch. GAWD.. Okay maybe I am done now. Who knows. But I have more things to post in the upcoming future about things in general like this and I dont really care if none of this made sense but apparently I say too many things in front of my son because he is worried that his belly is to big and he wants to be skinny... great. I know, I am a great mom. :P